RHUBARB ROMANCE“A Little Honey Works Wonders”
Spring is in the air. It is a time of new life. There are green grass, kittens, puppies, and rhubarb.
The darned stuff is the first thing to show up in the garden. For those of you who donít know about rhubarb, it grows from a huge root ball under the soil. A mass of stalks shoot through the soil each topped with a leaf the size of an elephantís ear. OK Ė a small elephantís ear, but itís big. The stalks are red near the ground, greener toward the leaf, and they grow to be the size of a childís arm. It tries to take control of the garden. It shades everything nearby so those plants canít grow as desired. In its raw state, it is bitter, sour, and it can be toxic if you use the wrong parts. If you chew on it, it bites back in ways you donít expect.
Does this sound like your numero uno relationship, with your spouse or partner? Does it feel a little “rhubarbish” sometimes?
Through helping people enhance their relationship, one of the biggest problems we see is that people begin to take each other for granted. We often hear people talk about their partner. Sometimes it is good, but usually it is not. He/she: never listens, is manipulative, is rude and obnoxious, is a workaholic, wonít talk about feelings, is irresponsible, is too emotional, never does anything around the house, isnít exciting any more, etc.
A relationship like this can be nasty. And if we focus on these things, guess what happens?
Holy rhubarb, thatís all we see. And it gets worse. I know this to be true because Iíve experienced it. If the picking, whining, and blaming continue, the relationship falls into a hot pot that will eventually boil dry and burn. It may happen quickly or it may take years. I guarantee it will occur, leaving both people bitter, sour, and toxic, just as if they were rhubarb. In our case, we were very close to ending the relationship.
Have you been in this boiling pot? Be honest with yourself.
Regardless of what is occurring in your relationship, apply some rhubarb romance.
Rhubarb is unique, vibrant, thriving, and resilient. When cooked, it smells heavenly, and has a scrumptious flavour. Rhubarb pie is my favourite!! Rhubarb Ė love it, care for it, and add lots of sweetener. So it is with my relationship with Carol. She is my favourite. She has the same unique qualities, traits, and appearance that I originally loved, which have been enhanced through our experience. I create great happiness, joy, and satisfaction through this relationship. I am not willing to let it boil dry and burn. Instead, I choose to love her, care for her, and add sweetener. I prefer honey and so does she.
Six honey ideas for rhubarb romance:
1. “Good morning Honey.” Add a kiss and a hug. Come on folks! Not that “love ya” peck on the cheek as you rush out the door that really says, “I donít have time for you.” Mean it!
2. “Honey, what can I do to help you so your day goes smoothly?” Joyfully do what is asked of you.
3. “Honey, tell me about your day.” Keep your mouth shut and LISTEN intently, without feeling the need to fix anything.
4. “Honey, letís do the______________ (dishes, yard work, cleaning, shoppingÖ) together.”
5. “Honey, can we talk about ______________ .” Be willing to communicate honestly, openly, and respectfully about anything that comes up.
6. “Good night Honey.” Once again, add a kiss and a hug. Lovingly look your special person deeply in the eyes, the portals to their soul. Always go to bed together on a happy note.
If you are in a relationship, you know that there is room for improvement.
Be the catalyst TODAY and add some of the sweet ideas above. They may cause you to lose some sleep, but you wonít mind.
Rhubarb romance. Delicious and sweet, or bitter and sour? Make a choice!
Copyright ©2005 Thinkiní Outside The Barn!
Reprinted with permission from Soaring Insights,Ēan electronic newsletter by Dan & Carol Ohler.
About Dan & Carol
Dan and Carol believe in the power and potential of “Human Capital.” The key to unlocking this potential is through Personal Leadership, which includes communication skills, accountability, attitude, and conscious awareness of choice. It is the “stuff” that makes happy, healthy, effective people at work and at play.
Dan and Carol co-facilitate communication training. They also specialize in workshops and retreats designed for couples. They model what they teach. To find out more about Dan and Carol, visit www.thinkinoutsidethebarn.com.
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